World War 3
by Ididntdoit07
Summary: A little OOC. Same as Confusion about cussing, title and summary changed. kagome and jakotsu fight over inuyasha during the courses of their lives. NOT COMPLETED! still more chapters, sorry for the late notice! rating for language!
1. Genders

**Talking About Shit**

I wrote this when I was bored and didn't know what to draw...and then I came up with this...I was also listening to Jimmy Eat World at the time...

_disclaimer: I dont own Inuyasha, or any other characters from the show. _

* * *

Kagome stomped through the hallways of her highschool as angry as a rhino with a sunburn. Her best friend, Sango, just told her the bad news...the Highschool Asshole, otherwise known as Jakotsu had kissed her boyfriend, Inuyasha,...again.

She came upon the boy as he leaned against his locker and read a magazine. Kagome thrust back her hand and then bitch slapped him across the face. The sound echoed across the hallways... Jakotsu held his cheek as he dropped the magazine. Kagome yelled at him. "You dickwad!"

"Oh, so I changed genders today, Higurashi?" He asked her, gently rubbing his cheek. Kagome stared at him strangely.

"What?"

Jakotsu shrugged. "Well, I mean you called me a faggot on Monday, and just yesterday you called me a pussy...So I'm confused. If I'm a pussy, then I'm a girl, right? And if I'm a dickwad, then I'm a guy...so...I got a sex change again?"

"You ASSHOLE!" She yelled.

"Is that a man or woman referred to now...?"

And then...it happened. She kicked him right where it hurt. He bent over, almost squealing. "Figure it out, yourself." and then she stomped away.

* * *

theEND. retarted, huh? Please R&R!

-Ididntdoit07


	2. WAR

chapter 2 of Confusion About Cussing...this was originally going to be a ONE shot, but then i realized 'no.'

**_thank you to my reviewers: _**

**xxlalaxx:**_ uh...your welcome!_

**reki-sama: **_yeah...I UPDATED!_

**AriesGal:**_isn't Aries a God of some type? Cool name though!...hehe...i updated! just like 5 minutes after i got ur first review!_

* * *

Ms. Minnamoto started to pass out the test her class took earlier. Most of the grades were As, but unfortunately, Jakotsu got another F. Kagome, who sat abut three feet away from him snickered. He turned to her and then pointed to her paper. "Oh yeah? Wha'd you get, pussy?" he then air kissed her and winked. Kagome looked at him in disgust.

"Oh, please." she narrowed her eyes at the boy. "As always I got an A...plus." She smirked and showed him her paper, pointing to the large red letter on the top of her test. He sighed.

"You win...but, just want you to know that Inuyasha appreciated that kiss I gave him the other day."

Sango, who sat behind Kagome, tapped her shoulder. "You can do better than that!" she whispered. Kagome looked back to Jakotsu. "Oh, atleast my parents didn't leave me behind, fucker!" Sango giggled at her best friend's comeback.

"Ooo..naughty naughty girl." He shook his index finger at her, smiling. Then, the teacher came right over to Jakotsu.

"Do you have a comment, Mr. Jakotsu?"

"Oh, no, Ms. Minnamoto, I was just going to tell you that Kagome was using bad language to me."

"And that would be?"

"She said the F word..." And then he gasped, acting like a little cheerleader, waving his hand infront of his mouth, whimpering. Kagome stared at him very angrily... Then, the teacher turned to Kagome and pointed.

"Kagome...detention!"

Kagome's jaw dropped to the floor. Jakotsu smirked back at her and then pricked up his middle finger and then did the same with his other hand as he mouthed the words: 'Fuck off bi-otch.'

Kagome crossed her arms across her chest and looked away as her teacher began to write up a detention for her. "Oh, it is SO war."

* * *

woot! 2nd chapter, DOWN! yes, yes, yes! can you feel it? can you feel it captain compost? I have...exorcised the DEMONS! this house is clear... yes i LOVE repeating lines from movies...especially Jim Carrey ones...heh.

PLEASE R&R! the more the merrier!

-Ididntdoit07


	3. Explode

**CONFUSION ABOUT CUSSING chapter 3**

sorry peeps, I'm in school till the end of May, and it might be a bit hard to keep updating the story, but I'll try my best so please dont kill me if I dont update in like a month. I'm probably going to be grounded soon cause my math grades suck, I just learned I have GYPSY blood in me and that my birth parents were like slaves (thats very helpful to my personality and thinking these days...), and my mother is having an emotional breakdown along with my dad who hates everything at the moment cause our fish in our pond are dying from a gill disease. And I'm just coping with the leaving of my horse, Peregrine.

But, other than all that, stories are my life. So, I'll try to update soon.

**Thanks to my Reviewers: **

_**Laquasha:** I updated, please dont die! (calls up ambulance...stops, wonders where the hell you are.) _

_**reki-sama:** glad you find it funny. _

_**AriesGal:** I'm trying, but if you read above you'll see why that they're short and that why I'm not updating as much. _

**disclaimer: I dont own Inuyasha or any other characters from ANYWHERE! I swear! Oo...that rhymes!**

* * *

As you could imagine, Kagome was pretty pissed at Jakotsu for landing her a detention that would be put on her PERMANENT record. And there was no other place than to express her anger than at the mental hospital. You see, every tuesday five people would be chosen to go to the mental hospital to help serve lunch to the patients, and the ones picked for the trip today were: Kagome, Ayame, a fat kid, Jakotsu, and Inuyasha. Oh, what a perfect group to help serve the mental people...

As they walked out of the bus which they were transported in, a man came around the corner of the building, screaming with his arms in the air.

"Nooooo! Go to hell and explode the fucking devil! THE END IS NEAR! I CAN FEEL IT!" Then, the man stopped running and came up to Inuyasha, and grabbing his shoulders, shaking the terrified boy. "The devil will possess you, take you to the grave and then...make you eat...the dreaded brussel sprouts from hell! KILL THE DEVIL! THE END IS NEAR!" and the man ran off, leaving a very frozen young man behind.

Jakotsu took one look at the guy and raised his sunglasses. "Whoa."

Then, another man who wore all white ran after the crazy apocalypse dude. "Mr. Warner, you're supposed to be on bed rest!"

* * *

Kagome and Jakotsu were set up as partners as you could guess. Right now, they stood in the kitchen, putting on their little...garments. Jakotsu had an apron on backwards and was trying to figure out a hair cap when Kagome just yelled at him. "I should kill you, Jakotsu! I should kill you, put you in the dirt, and chop you up in little pieces and then stomp in your grave!"

"Hey, Barbie. If you're so popular,then why doI have to buy all your friends, mmm?"

"You are SO gay."

"Oh, thank you! I love compliments!" He sarcastically cheered and then threw the hair net away like a rubberband. "Hey..." He calmed down and then whispered in her ear.

"Are you related to Carmen Electra, cause it looks like you have some of her titties annnnnnnnd..." Jakotsu looked down and then away. "It's either cold in here, or I'm turning you on..."

"You bastard!" she screamed as she covered up her chest.

"Yay, I'm a man again! ...wait." And then he put his hand down into his crotch and then sighed. "Oh, it's still there...good, I was starting to panic." He smirked at her, but suddenly, a loud voice was heard again.

"Action! EXPLODE! BOMBING!...KILL THE DEVIL! ...O-SAMA!"

Kagome jerked her head up from tying her apron and just sweatdropped. She looked to Jakotsu...who was laughing. She sneered at him and then got ready to put her hair net on. "You are so wierd..." she muttered. He turned to her and then suddenly glomped her.

"Ooooh! I love you too, why didn't you say something before!"

* * *

Inuyasha, Ayame, and the fat kid all looked at eachother. "I think they're getting along, JUST fine." Ayame said, sighing.

* * *

well, thats all I had time for, SORRY! I'll update as soon as i can, while you're waiting...count to 11111111111.

-Ididntdoit07


	4. Accident Prone

**Not the End**

damn pop-ups on this site...but, back to reality! I made this chapter longer, and it's not the end so get ready for the next installment!

**Thanks to Reviewers!  
**

**silver starlight kitsune: **ok, I know you're waiting for an Anchors Away update, but I'm trying, I AM! Just, writers block sucks and I sort of have the chapter plot in mind but it's kinda fading with the humor...sorry!

**reki-sama: **very normal for a mental hospital...yes. Carmen? You dont know who Carmen Electra is?...um...go to that movie site, I think it's IMDB, but she's a singer (I think) and actress with large boobs. Um...the pairing with Jak/Kag isn't _really _gonna happen, but you'll understand why at the end of this chapter. And...I take it you like Kagome very much, I took a look at your profile and she's like in every pairing you like. I, in particular, dont like her, I actually think she needs to rot in hell, but opinions on her differ... (shrug)

**AriesGal: **tis longer!

* * *

Kagome walked through the halls of her highschool followed by her friends. Today, she was quite the happy one. Jakotsu was nowhere to be found today and even if he were at school, he wasn't seen by anyone. The young girl couldn't wait to get home... she finally got what she dreamed of forever! She got an A+ on a geometry test today and was very excited to put it in her younger brother's face. While Jakotsu was gone, she had time to think of a plan to totally sabotage his life the next day he would be seen around her. _It's perfect. _Kagome thought, smiling.

"Hey...any of you seen Jakotsu today?" Kagome asked her friend, Sango, who just stopped in her tracks. She had a surprised expression.

"You mean you dont _know_?" Sango demanded her best friend. Kagome shrugged back at the taller girl. Sango sighed deeply and then placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, and shook her head.

"Know what?"

"After the who little... mental hospital thingy you did yesterday with him, he went home and played around with his 4-wheeler. And there was an accident." Kagome's eyes widened. "The 4-wheeler was flipped over by a car and he was put in the hospital. _I _heard that he broke both arms and his back got ruptured or something...but he's alive, that's the good thing."

"Ouch." was the only thing Kagome could say about that.

Kagome was about to burst out of the doors to the school right when a flash of silver caught her eye. Slowly, she turned her head to her left and saw it... 

That bony little bitch Kikyo was with her man! She had her fat pink lips against the hanyou's! Growling, Kagome ran up to Inuyasha and then did the most unexpected thing she had ever done. She bitch slapped Inuyasha! "You asshole!"

He held his cheek in pain as he looked at her. "What?"

"'What?' What! I thought you and I were boyfriend and girlfriend!"

"Kagome, we were NEVER in that relationship, so get over it. I've been with Kikyo half of this year." He said, wrapping an arm around the skinny broad.

* * *

"And so..." Kagome whimpered, wiping a tear away from her eyes. "He said that he and Kikyo were going out for half of the year." She ended with a long sniff and broke down again. She had a small audience of 1 that just stared at her. 

"Kag, none of us had a chance with him." Jakotsu said, itching the back of his neck with the plaster of his left hand-cast. He sat in a hospital bed with two casts around his arms and a large bruise across his cheek, but besides that, he looked calm and...cute. And Kagome never saw him with his hair down either...and it looked nice with all his layered hair splayed about his shoulders.

"Wha...?" Kagome looked up, blinking.

"I just kissed him to annoy Kikyo, not you...I didn't even know that you LIKED Inuyasha."

"You mean it wasn't obvious...?"

"Girl, you were friggin' invisible."

Kagome just then hit his left arm and squealed, breaking down into more tears. Jakotsu winced from the vibrating pain in his arm Kagome just induced. "Owowowow...okay, okay. What do you say we have a truce?" He held out his least-injured arm for a shake. Kagome stared at the bandaged apendage and then sniffed.

"...c-can I hit you one more time...?"

"Ugh...fine, then we're ev-- OW!"

Kagome then shook his hand and then retrieved it quickly, before he could break her hand off.

* * *

A few weeks later after Jakotsu had almost recovered, the tension of the loss of Inuyasha's love sunk into both of the teenagers. Kagome was going through depression while Jakotsu just never acted the same around any otherguys. Kagome sighed as she walked out of the school and into the courtyard as she headed home. But, as she walked by, a little ringing noise made her look to her right to see her nemisis trying to play his electric Fender guitar for the first time in months. 

Calmly, she sat down next to him, placing her backpack on the ground. "Hey." Jakotsu made no reaction to her and turned his back to her, not wanting to speak. _He's worse than I thought..._

Jakotsu turned his head to her. _Why isn't she cursing me out or hitting me with something...? _

_Kagome, think, THINK! What to do...what to do... get him talking again...uh... _"Kiss me." Jakotsu jerked his head up from his guitar and stared at the girl which he thought was on crack. _Well...that woke him up. _Kagome shuddered her shoulders and shook her head. "Kiss me, dammit!"

Suddenly, her eyes widened as she felt his tender lips pressed against her own. Kagome's heart raced 190 miles per hour as she felt him press into her almost... _He's...he's actually kissing ME! _She squealed and then suddenly pushed him away, covering her mouth.

Jakotsu, on the other hand, practically threw himself off of the bench and to the nearest trashcan, where he gagged himself and then threw up. Kagome looked back to him, blushing furiously. Then, she whispered so that only she could hear. "Nice kisser..."

* * *

the 4-wheeler accident is real. A boy in my class in highschool got in the same accident, broke his vertabra in his back and both his arms are broken...I'm just like...ow. please R&R!

-Ididntdoit07


	5. Payback Time

**Chapter 5...(I think) of Confusion About Cussing**

**IMPORTANT: **okay, I know some of you people who are reading it are thinking EW, gross! A Jakotsu/Kagome pairing...well...**NO!** it isn't a jakotsu/kagome pairing because if it were that would be plain wierd. (though, i do like reading it...O.O) And I know most of you out there hate Kikyo, but if you've seen the WAY later episodes like in the 140s, then you'll understand why I dont hate her. I actually feel really bad for her and she wasn't always a gloomy, bitchy girl either, she's just mad about her past. Wouldn't you if YOU were HER? Well, anyways I had to get that off my chest, and by the way I HATE kagome's fucking guts, she can rot in hell for all I care, Kikyo came first and isn't hyper and acts bitchy at Inuyasha when's shes mad about something...and she doesn't say "sit" either...and you know what? I noticed that Kagome just sits on her fat ass and waits, screaming, and crying while all the guys in the show risk their lives for her...and now she's gotten WAY too dramatic about the whole Mt. Hakurei thing, it's making me think of X men or like a cheesy sci-fi movie. (not that I dont like X-Men.)

Okay, over the ranting...

**Disclaimer: **Dont own Inuyasha, for if I did...OH! but i DO own the story and two ADORABLE plushies my friend, Jennifer made for me! (hugs dolls of jakotsu and bankotsu) (I'm the happiest girl in the world!) EEEE!

**Thanks to Reviewers: **

**punkgoddess: **thank you! I kinda like it too even though it's a freakin idea that has been in my perverted brain for about a year now...but, sad to say it's not a Kag/Jakotsu pairing cause...I dunno. But, read the IMPORTANT thing.

**AriesGal: **LOL. okay, I barely understood what you were saying there... (sigh) please read above. (for both of our sakes.) okay, and also look for the 1st and 2nd main characters of the story, I'll let you figure that one out. but, actually...you gave me a great idea, thanks! (actually smiles)

* * *

"For the last time, I didNOT put the moves on you!" Kagome glared over at her right while the one who just pressed his lips to hers, flushed out his mouth...with soap. He leaned over to the trashcan and spit...for the 1000th time in the last five minutes.

"What-ever, it was di-sgus-ting!"

"Then why did you actually kiss me?"

"Why am I even having this conversation with you?"

"YOU brought it up, thank you very much!"Suddenly, Kagomehit him on the back...hard.Jakotsu straightened up and then tensed all over, whimpering in pain. Taken back, Kagome didn'treally think about that he wasstill inbad condition. She bit her bottom lip,waitingfor the worst.

After straining his fists, he turned to her and then suddenlyrelaxed. "I'm still..." he said calmly, but that changed very quickly,"HURT, YOU KNOW!"

"...sorry..." she muttered, looking away from him, trying to sink down into the ground forever.

"Keh..."

It was quiet for about ten minutes until Kagome broke the silence. "...Was I really invisible with Inuyasha...?"

"Oh, GOD! You asked me that about an hour ago, and the answer isn't going to change!" The girl's lip trembled and then she thrust forward onto him, grabbing the collar of his shirt and jerked back and forth on it. From below, Jakotsu could've sworn he had heard her crying. He didn't exactly like it, but she needed to get over it an--

"Wait a minute..." He pushed her away, leaving her sitting on the bench along with his guitar and then pointed back to her. "Stay here, I'm gonna get Inu back to earth."

* * *

He walked back into the school where he knew he would find Kikyo and Inuyasha. _Oh, Kagome, you are SO going to have to repay me for this... _Casually, he found the two by their lockers, again, making out furiously. Acting around, Jakotsu stomped his foot in the girlest manner possible and almost pranced up to them. Suddenly, he slapped Inuyasha across the face, almost hitting Kikyo in the process. Inuyasha held his stinging cheek insurprise as he looked at Jakotsu... who looked like HELL was burning up behind him. "You MORON!"

"Wha...?" Of course, Inuyasha didn't get the act.

"After _all _those nights of us together in the hot-tub, and my water bed, you repay me with THIS?" Legally Blonde really did pay off... "And I thought that we would be together FOREVER! And I cant believe I lost my virginity to you, you...you...HOG!" Even though he did feel bad for accusing the boy, he was getting Kagome something...

"Virginity?" Kikyo demanded Inuyasha, hitting his shoulder.

"I-I dont know what he's talking about!" Inuyasha said, shrugging.

"INU-YASHA! Why do you treat me like a fly? After all I've done for you! Baked you pies, gave you pleasure!" _Oh, my evil plan is going to work!_

Kikyo growled through her teeth, and herself bitch-slapped Inuyasha. "Inuyasha, it's OVER!" she began to stomp away when the hanyou grabbed her arm.

"W-wait!"

"**O-VER!" **

Inuyasha chased Kikyo out the school doors, but Kikyo was faster and ran off. Inuyasha stopped in the pavement, looking at the girl who became smaller as she ran. Then, he heard a whimper and looked to his left where he saw Kagome...sitting alone.

"Hi." He said, sitting down, already forgetting about Kikyo.

"Hey..." She wiped her eyes.

Jakotsu, who stood by the school doors looked out to see both of them...flirting. He sighed deeply and then shook his head. _You really owe me something, Higurashi..._

Suddenly, something knocked into him. He and the something both fell to the floor from the impact. Quickly, Jakotsu looked up...to see a really cute guy lying ontop of him. The pain in his back was immense but the look on the boy's face was way too cute and made Jakotsu forget about the pain. This boy...had dark black hair tied in a little ponytail in the back with almost violet eyes.

"Uh...Hi." The boy said, getting off of the older guy he knocked down. "Sorry about..." Jakotsu stared at the boy...Oh, so cute.

Then, a towering shadow loomed over both boys, and they looked up to see her. "Jakotsu, dont even THINK about it!" Sango yelled.

* * *

Okay, okay. Only one more chapter and that's it of this story...I'm running out of ideas. please review!

-Ididntdoit07


	6. Barrier Reef and Beer

**it's the last chapter of Confusion About Cussing! WAAA! oh well.**

i love all my reviewers and stuff and I might email you guys back or make another chapter for thanks. this is probably one of the longestchapters and its been made up in fresh-man study support at my school...i was supposed to be doing homework, but wrote. hahahahaha...so stoned. AND i got a new horse! a retired race-horse which we call Callie! I'll put a picture of her on deviantart soon, so check out my gallery! its not exactly van-gough, but take a look!

**Thanks to my Following Reviewers: **

**punkgoddess:** yup, Legally Blonde really does pay off...eh...yeah. (runs away before getting shot by reese witherspoon) I updated!

**AriesGal: **I updated, and Im glad you liked that chapter! last review, i barely understood what you said...yeah. luv ya!

**reki-sama: **...maybe. yeah, its miroku-sama...hehe... i love him SO much...

**dont own inuyasha, happy?**

* * *

It had been five years after highschool and barely anyone kept in touch anymore, safe for Kagome and her relationship with Inuyasha. Last fall at the beginning of their 3rd year in college, he proposed to her on a lovely beach. Of course, like any girl would, Kagome squealed and hyperventilated as he placed the ring on her finger. Only an hour ago the two were married, and their friends from highschool, Sango, Miroku, and...Jakotsu (they made up) had come. After a few days after Kagome got Inuyasha back from the wicked witch of the west, Sango was then told that her boyfriend, Miroku, was gay.

Kagome and Inuyasha were driving away from the church to the reception when she broke an awkward silence. "Hey...did you see where Sango, Miroku, and Jakotsu went after the wedding?"

"No...was I supposed to?"

She shrugged, thinking they already left for the reception.

* * *

Sango stared back at the two boys which were having a little _playtime _in the back of her SUV. "Great. I'm stuck with a transvestite and a gay in a SUV with no tinted windows. Perfect." she muttered. The boys looked up from their fun and stared at her. 

"I'm not in drag!" Jakotsu protested, placing a hand upon the back of her seat from the driver's wheel. Sango scoffed.

"Then what do you call that little run-in you had with the 'McDonald's' drive through lady?"

"She called me a woman, and I got back at her!"

"You tore off her shirt and hat, and winked back at her!"

Miroku just sat in between them, enjoying the little argument. It was sort of like a movie, but...wierder. Sure, he'd seen Scary Movie 3, Ace Ventura, and Raptor Island, but this topped them all. "Jeez, Jakotsu. How'd I get stuck with you two anyways?"

"You love us..." Miroku leaned forward and breathed in her ear, something she hadn't felt in a long time. "And we love you." Jakotsu, in the back, pretended to gag himself.

* * *

The reception was fun and little wedding bells were placed at each seat. Jakotsu, Sango, and Miroku rung them everytime Kagome and Inuyasha were in a strange position, and they had to kiss...or else... it was the next day and the two left for their honeymoon to Australia, or the Great Barrier Reef.

Inuyasha rented a private yacht for the day and had a little servant which brough him and his new wife anything they wanted. It was like paradise. The sun shone brightly, the sea was a brilliant turquoise, and it was just... perfect. The two sat upon the deck of the yacht, looking into each other's eyes. They both wore towels and held glasses of champagne, and as the two were about to kiss...

BOM! SPLISH! _shreak! _

The two were covered in what seemed to be blue oatmeal. Inuyasha was furious and whipped his head around to see who might've sabotaged them. Kagome shook some of the oatmeal out of her hair and then saw a little yellow rubber material on the deck. It was a balloon.

From about 100 meters away sat a small dinghy in which three ocupants sat...giggling. Miroku popped up from the small boat with binoculars. "What are their reactions?" He asked, whacking another person on the side of the head.

"OW! I'm still not recovered from that 4-wheeler accident!"

Then, a feminine voice broke out. "Jakotsu, that was about 5 years ago...I dont think you're going to---!"

BOM! POIK! _groan..._

Someone had backfired their own weapon. But...this was cleat and this tasted a lot like... "HOLY CRAPPERS, it's BEER!" Jakotsu almost rejoiced, trying to lick the beverage off of his face. Sango moaned and then stuck leaned over the side of the dinghy and swished her head around, clearing it of the alcohol. Miroku sat in the boat, whipping his head around likeaperson with ADHD and tried to find the sorce of the beer.

Then he looked up and saw Kagome and Inuyasha...covered in blue looking down at them from their yacht which mysteriously was only a foot away from them now. "Hi...?" Miroku waved, smiling. Inuyasha glared down at the boy and suddenly flipped the entire little dinghy over.

The three surfaced, and it looked as if Jakotsu's hair tie had come undone and now he looked like the girl from the ring with his hair ALL over his face and Sango's just floated around her like a mermaid's. And Miroku's was finally let down from its little ponytail. "Kag, when I said you OWE me something, I didn't mean it like this..."

"Oh well, Jaky-chan. You have your own bitch, and a H2, what else do you want?" Kagome asked him, pointing to Miroku, who looked upset at being called a female dog.

"Wait..." Jakotsu glanced over at Miroku strangely and then screamed. "You're a WOMAN!"

"Oi..." Kagome covered her head in her hands. Inuyasha and Sango shook their heads as the two other "mature" people in the water had a wrestling fight.

"LEMME SEE!"

"Jakotsu, get your hands off of me!"

"Aww...you're no fun!"

"Seriously, that's a bit distracting and embar-- ...wait, where are your handssss...? OH! Holy cheeseballs, Jakotsu...that--that tickles! STOP! Get your paws outta there, I d---!...oh, that feels ni...ce."

Kagome, Sango, and Inuyasha could only stare.

* * *

well, sad to say, that's it. I love you all that have reviewed and stuff so...yeah. If you liked thisi suggest you check out feudal idol, how to torture a leader, kouga's obsession...or those humor stories...they're funny! well, please R&R, this is my first completed story! YAY!

-Ididntdoit07


	7. 7 Years Later

**Not the end chapter, I lied. **

okay, never mind. I didn't lie, I was just bored and had so many things going on in my head I barely understood my own words. Okay. Over with. Screw that other chapter, that's just another normal chapter, not the end. I made an alternate ending, this is a part of it... took a little while, but this is the REAL continuing ending to world war 3, or confusion about cussing. Whatever you wanna call it. I got this idea after watching sex-ed videos in health today. Alright, i wanna talk to you reviewers!

**Disclaimer: dont own anyone. happy? now...stop looking at me that way... why are you holding a fork?...(runs away)**

* * *

Even more years have passed since the half dog demon and hyperactive school girl had gotten married and gone to the islands for the honeymoon. Over the next few years, Inuyasha and Kagome had bought a house right next to their friends' and had a wonderful property of a pool, indoor pool, H2s, and butlers! (: ) Okay, anyways, about 9 months ago Kagome learned she was going to have a baby. Of course her friends were happy for her, and so was her husband, but her former WAR mate wasn't really pleased on the inside. Sure, Jakotsu had a boyfriend (that is typed so weird...) and Sango got another boy friend by the name of Kuranosuke (remember him? Mr. Shiny-Teeth!) They are now engaged for the summer and live with Miroku and Jakotsu right next to Kagome and Inuyasha. 

The way former schoolgirl made her way down the stairs of her large house with trouble. She was almost 9 months pregnant and her feet hurt like hell, along with her back, breasts, and...other parts. She clung to the railing like a gecko and occasionally yelled for no apparent reason... she knew she was the only one in the house at the moment. She wore a bathrobe and that was pretty much it, aside from she forgot to put on makeup and comb her hair.

"Anyone there? Hello? Edwardo?" she called, wanting assistance.

Suddenly, the young woman heard the sound of the backdoor and footsteps in the slippery foyer were heard. "People?" a new voice called, and Kagome instantly recognized it...the question was, why was he in her house...again? "Helluuuuuuuu?"

Kagome growled through her clenched teeth at the intruder. "I'm over by the stairs, you dimwit!" In less than 20 seconds, her neighbor, Jakotsu, walked by and smirked at her position. It was quite funny to see the girl like that... heavily pregnant, stuck on the stairs with her arms wrapped around the railing, and wearing big navy blue socks that hung off her toes. Kagome glared back at him. He was barely dressed, only wearing those extremely baggy, green, plaid, flannel pants, a dirty or just ugly greyNew York shirt,and an old black, bath robe was just hanging over his body and the sleeves were too long. He looked like a hobo, along with his hair coming loose from its ponytail...and he held an empty keg of beer.

"Oh, hi there, Kag." He said casually, giving a wave of the middle finger. Kagome just glared more.

"Get over here and help me before I rip that stupid metal plate in your back out!" Jakotsu held up his hands in offense.

"Hey, hey. It was bad enough getting it put in..." He muttered, walking over to her assistance. He set the empty beer bottle down on the mantel and grabbed her right arm, well; more of pried it from the railing. "Kag, this would be a lot easier if you let go of the stairs...and besides..." Jakotsu began to mutter under his breath. "...you already weigh about 300 pou...nnnds..." He trailed off as he saw her extreme hot fury.

With a little effort, he pulled, or dragged Kagome down the stairs without hurting her...well, almost. They both stood up straight now and the woman bounced on her swollen heels, forgetting how she looked at the moment. "So...how do I look?" She asked, twirling around in a circle. Her hobo-like neighbor stopped her spinning, and looked her straight in the eye.

"Truthfully, or a lie?"

"Um...truthfully."

"You look like Frankenstein."

The young woman burst into tears. Well, this wasn't the first time. There was one time when he called her fat. She screamed and beat him to a bloody pulp, except that was at the beginning. The second time was when he took her to the Waffle House for coffee...and she ordered at least one of everything. He called her a pig and that she was hogging his money. At first, she ignored him, but then he pretended to snort at her...and she went berserk. The third time was when they went shopping for maternity wear and he pointed to the largest dress...of course, he was beaten again...but this time with her purse...that had buckles. And to add that together, most of the time, people stared or took pictures.

Kagome was about to lean on him to mentally picture beating him again, but he moved and she lost her footing. She yelped and suddenly found herself hovering about 6 inches off of the hardwood floor. Her rustic neighbor caught her, and in the process probably snapped something in his back. Slowly, he lifted her off of the ground and turned away, stretching like a cat.

"Hey, you're not the one pregnant, your back shouldn't hurt as much." She muttered.

"Yeah, but did you get smashed by a car?"

"...n...no."

"And wasn't it I that set you and Inuyasha together, and if you two haven't been together, then it would be me and Inuyasha, and I would be having his...holy crap! What am I saying!"

"Um..."

"Okay, let's just put it this way; I put you and Inuyasha together, so appreciate me more than you do...without me, you'd be living with Kouga in a trailer, isn't that right?"

"y-yeah."

"That's what I thought, Barbie." And he headed off into the opposite direction...well, in short, towards the kitchen. Kagome gaped at him, but then shook it off and followed him into her and Inuyasha's kitchen.

"What are you doing now?" She asked, leaning on the frame of the door, staring at him. Jakotsu had almost every compartment in the kitchen open; obviously, he was looking for something and it wasn't cereal. He was talking to himself now, and sniffing most of the food like a dog. "I said, what are you doing?"

He answered her question quickly, without even turning to look at her. "Have any beer?" Kagome's face almost dropped to the floor. "What?" He asked, innocently, turning to face the young woman.

"You and Miroku went through 4 cases of beer in a week?" She asked, in awe. Jakotsu shrugged it off, and set a box of coco puffs on the counter. "You two are gonna die of alcohol poisoning."

"So? I've had a good..." He trailed off as he noticed that the woman was not paying much attention to him, but to a growing puddle of what seemed to be water, under her feet. "...Life." He ended and walked over to her. "Kag? Jesus Christ, Kag! They make tampons for a reason!" He almost felt like he was toying with a child at the moment, and wanted to hit himself over the head with a backpack, or Kagome. Jakotsu saw her head drop down like she was guilty of something, and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey...I'm sorry. Listen...I'll just get a mop...or something, clean it up, we can watch a movie and then think of something else, kay?"

"I-it's not that." She almost seemed to be struggling her words and he noticed that her fists were clenched tightly. Jakotsu gave her a questioning look. "I th-think the baby wants out..." He was still confused. "NOW."

"Ohhh..."

...silence...

"HOLY SHIT!"

* * *

okay, there's gonna be another chapter, and maybe another, just look out for them okay? and dont forget to review!

-Ididntdoit07


	8. Phonecalls and Stairs

**Almost the Last Chapter**

Almost the last chapter of World War 3, Oi...this fiction is driving me nuts now.

**disclaimer: dont own inuyasha or any characters else from the show. **

* * *

Jakotsu looked down and realized that the woman didn't wet herself...it was... "Holy bloody hell!" He backed away from her like a gazelle spooking from a cheetah, and raised his hands in offense. "Okay, okay...I'm just gonna...run to my house...and...uh...get my cell phone and...stuff. You dont move."

And he ran out the door, oblivious to the fact that a phone was right near the front door in case of an emergency...

* * *

Jakotsu/Miroku's house... 

(on the phone...)

"Eeek!" Jakotsu screamed into the phone like a little girl and then totally changed his voice so that it sounded like a house wife from Alabama. (or like my Mom. : P) He held the phone away from him and pretended he was somewhere else... "Honey, look up the number for 911! I don't care which breathin' excersizes ya do, just hold it!" And he went back to the phone. "Sir, or ma'am, we gotta problem...ya see, mah wife is in labor!"

Once again he held the phone away from him and screamed as the housewife. "Goshem, Miss Scarlet, I don't know nothin' bout birthin' no babies!"

Back to the phone. "Sir, I think...-- I THINK WE HAVE A HEAD!"

_"where do you live?" _

"Um...1278 Farmer's Tan, ah, gotta go, click!"And he hung up and whispered to himself. "I so shouldda joined drama club."

* * *

The front door to the mansion opened again, but with more of a hussle. Jakotsu ran in, panting. "Kag...where...are you?" He stood up straight from his previous crouch to catch his breath and looked around. "I called the police or whatever, they're comin' I think...Kagome?" Jakotsu slowly walked, no crawled on the floor around the house calling out the woman's name as if she were a puppy or pet. 

"Kagomeeeeeeee? Where are youuuuu?" Sighing in frustration, he stood up and whipped his head around for any sight of the woman.

Then his gaze locked at the hard wood stairs leading up to the bedrooms and 2nd floor. But, among the hard wood was a long, thick trail of reddish pink goopy slop, that dripped off of the steps. Jakotsu looked at the mess and he was to throw up, but swallowed it down, and cringed. "Well..." He started up the stairs. "This is _very_ convenient."

He wasn't looked where he stepped and then he felt the slimy, warm, goop touch his foot. Jakotsu's eyes widened and he slowly looked down to see the slime dripping off of his right foot. "...ugh...that's just...wonderful...ew..." Then he finally figured out what it might've come from... (his brain was running a little slow.) "Ew! Oh, my GOD! I can't believe I just stepped in something which probably came out of Kagome's ass!"

In the middle of spasing/grossing out, he lost his balance on the stairs...The only reaction he made to the lost balance was waving his arms wildly by his sides, trying to fly...but...

...no avail.

Bam!

The man just lay there, in a puddle of the slime, staring up at the ceiling, just...staring. He wasn't thinking anything, and he didn't move...or blink. Jakotsu was frozen solid. Then, he made a living reaction; He just barely exhaled in a lost breath.

"...ugg...o-...ow."

He laid there for about 7 minutes until he finally was breathing normal again. Jakotsu groaned as he leaned up into a sitting position and could feel the metal rod in his back just vibrate...it hurt like hell. Ignoring the pain, he stood...slowly and tried to look at his back. The dark robe that he wore...was soaking in the slime. "Some how I'm gonna get killed this year..." He muttered as he ripped the robe off and threw it down into the now smaller puddle.

This time, he was careful about running up the stairs, and he didn't fall. Once he reached the top, he did his own litle victory dance, but then went back to following the trail of slime, which began to get darker and thicker. "That's just pleasant." He said as he found the end of the trail, which lead into the large KING sized room which Kagome and Inuyasha shared.

Jakotsu stared in at Kagome. The woman was curled up against the back of the bed and was biting her lip, and clenching her joints. "Oh, mother of God..." he muttered as he walked in to see her condition closer. She had blood all over the king sized bed, and I mean ALL OVER. There were a few things broken on the ground from where she made her stumbling steps across the room.

"Kag?" He asked, leaning to get close to her face that seemed to be growing the color of hot pink. "You okay...? I called the police, and they might be here." He got no answer. "Kagomeeee?"

Suddenly, her dormant look changed as the darkness of hell was written all over her face. "You..." She grabbed his collar as her shoulders trembled. Jakotsu looked down into her darkened face and whimpered. "BASTARD!" She screamed, and let go of his collar, only to let him slide off of the bed onto the floor. "It friggin' hurts and you're not doing anything to comfort me!"

Jakotsu immediately sat up from his position on the floor and reached over, grabbing her shoulders. "Kagome...Kagome..." the woman wouldn't settle down. "KAG!" The woman looked at him and he sighed. "Okay...I kind of have an experience in ganucaligy, so just bear with me. Okay, I think that when one of those pains...contractions come, then you need to breathe in your nose out your month, sort of like a horse."

"I'm not a horse!"

"I _know _that, so just...settle down!"

"How can I settle down when I know you've failed health for 3 years in a row?"

"Fine, it was 4. But, I promise you...we will get through it.

* * *

Oh, my God, that chapter drove me crazy...please R&R i really need it...

-Ididntdoit07


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